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Short Life Story in Music

 

I don’t know how I came to be or have any recollections of my arrival in this world. All I know is I was born in São Paulo, Brazil. I also remember that music was always present in my life from a very, very tender age. My parents used to leave the radio on, broadcasting classical music in my room near my cot. My mother is Brazilian. She studied a little music when she was a child and collected many recordings of classical music by different composers. My father was a Spanish expat. He was an artist, and was always listening to music, particularly Beethoven, Brahms and Berlioz whilst in his studio. He always said that he wished to have learnt to play a musical instrument. When I was 10 they both decided that I should learn to play an instrument.  I wanted to play either the piano or violin. So, when I went to my local music school there were lots of piano teachers and… no violin tutors. So my father made the choice for me to learn an instrument that was relatively easy… he said: “I am not buying a piano for you… What do we do with it if you give up in six months time?”. So it was decided there and then that I would learn the classical guitar. Fortunately, there were a few classical guitar teachers to choose from. And it turned out that I didn’t give up after 6 months. I realised that I was made of steely perseverance.

 

A few months after I started learning music, Brazil suffered one of many financial crises and when my parents couldn’t afford to pay for lessons any longer, one of my aunts took the burden to pay for them. As my family was not able to afford to go on holiday, I spent the summer months practicing the guitar in order to keep boredom away. I made extremely rapid progress and was playing Grade 8 level pieces within a year after beginning lessons. I was around 11-12 years old then. It was during that summer, whilst facing that very difficult financial situation, that I finally discovered my calling in life. I decided that I would become a musician when I grew up. My parents, though, had different plans… they wanted me to go medical school! I knew I would be a failure if I followed their decision… imagine a doctor who can’t stand the sight of blood! So, I rebelled… I would become a musician whether they liked it or not! That of course wasn’t a decision that my parents took lightly, but in the end they accepted, or at least they pretended that they did.

Moreover, they had to. It was non-negotiable and I wasn’t willing to compromise on that decision.

 

I was about 16-17, at the time I took this great decision, when I began studying with my first great mentor. Tino Andersen was the first positive and meaningful influence, musically-speaking, in my life. I had many negative ones too. Everyone has. He came into my life almost by accident. I was waiting for my guitar lesson when this person speaking Portuguese with a very strong foreign accent approached me and asked if he could attend my lesson. Then, he heard me playing and after many informal lessons he decided that I would be his first full-time guinea pig. My musical and technical levels were greatly raised. After a year studying intensively with him, he had to go back to his native Norway. I followed him there a few months later and, after a further six months of

having lessons almost every day, he deemed me ready to go and pursue further studies in London at Trinity College of Music. What I never quite understood to this day is that he never, ever charged me for a single lesson. I am forever grateful to his altruistic gesture and I hope that one day he might share his reason for doing so. Although I believe that the best stories are best left unexplained…

 

I spent 4 very difficult years at Trinity. I struggled with the English language, and it took me time to adapt to a new culture. Musically I was developing well though.  I started to attend concerts regularly, particularly the London orchestras. During my third year at college, I picked up an injury on my left arm. One day it was normal, the next I wasn’t able to play what I had practiced the previous evening. I spent the 4th and final year trying as best as I could, to produce a good end of year performance. But, I knew that my days, and dreams, to become a soloist were over. I never fully recovered from this injury, although I can still play. As predictable as it is, the inevitable denial and depression followed.  One day, after walking around London in a numb state for

a few hours asking myself what had happened to my life, I attended a concert where I first heard a performance of a Mahler Symphony. I was blown away! The impact of Bruckner was as dramatic.  To hear such wonderful music in that semi depressive state inspired me and I was determined that I wasn’t going to let a little detail such as a career-ending injury stop me from following my calling.  So it was, that I was finally reborn as a musician. I started to study conducting. Firstly with Alexander Ingram in London. Afterwards I went to live in Russia for two years where I studied in the class of Pyotr Gribanov and Georg Erzhemskyn who eventually became my mentors. They really challenged

me to create and shape my own artistic goals - just imagine having teachers who actually respected you as musician.  It was also extremely intensive as I embarked on a 5 year course in just 2 years (in Russia the undergraduate conducting course is 5 years). I graduated my class conducting Bruckner 4th Symphony as my first professional engagement with the Rostov Academic Symphony Orchestra. It was a baptism of fire which was very rewarding and taught me so much. My greatest recollection was crying my eyes out after the performance and having most musicians of that orchestra hugging me backstage. I guess I

was overwhelmed by the emotional impact of the music.  Looking back, it was like finding closure with the injury that stopped me from playing. It was also about exorcising my biggest demons. Even as I write this I cannot help but feel emotional. As has always been the case in my life, it was against the odds…   and it’s this that defines me as a human being and, I suppose, as a musician.

 

Later that year I was the finalist of a Competition in Spain. The following year I made my debut in my native Brazil with 2 different orchestras, the Unicamp Symphony Orchestra and the Goiânia Symphony Orchestra. Both were rewarding experiences and learning steps which I embraced as I mastered the art of conducting. This was followed by concerts in Spain with the Salamanca Youth Symphony Orchestra and the Karaganda Symphony in Kazakhstan. I was then invited to become Music Director of the Harrow Symphony Orchestra, an amateur group. I spent the next 7 years with them improving their musicianship. Sometimes it was like extracting water from stones, but what a reward afterwards!   It was particularly rewarding to see how well things turned out on concert days.   In 2016 I decided it was time to leave the orchestra and spend more time with my two children. So, currently I am on a Sabbatical and only the future knows how the next chapter in my career might unfold.  But one thing is for sure… I will be back to write it.